Holidays, pop culture

A Last-Minute Holiday Resolution

So. What the ever-loving #$%&  is going on with all the Christmas that has been blasting me in the face every time I walk into a store since before Halloween?  I saw the first Christmas decorations up, in 7-11, on the Wednesday before Halloween. That’s two full months before Christmas.

The weekend following, while people were still stumbling drunkenly through the streets in slutty pancake costumes everywhere I turned, I went to Target and found an enormous display full of trees and lights and all that stuff. I looked around, and, even with a concerted effort, the only Thanksgiving-related products I could find occupied one measly shelf in the craft/office supply area of the store. So what gives?

Well, obviously, there’s some corporate greed going on here. Clearly, Christmas is the most lucrative holiday of the year, and Thanksgiving is not even close, so all these big ole’ businesses are saying to themselves, “hey  guys, I bet if we made the Christmas season twice as long, we could make twice as much money! Right? Right?”

And they may be. After all, the minute I walked into Target and saw all those cheery, glittery bits calling my name, I was struck with the thought that it would be so nice to get a jump on my Christmas preparations this year. It would be convenient to have that extra time to prepare, and I could enjoy the holiday more if , come December, I didn’t feel so stressed out about everything I had to do. All the things I had to buy, all the stuff I had to get and wrap up in all that wrapping paper I would need to procure, and…

Well, pretty much immediately,  my very perceptive partner, D-bizzle (names have been very slightly changed), pointed out to me that not two days ago I had been speaking bitterly against the greed of companies who thought it was ok to bypass the relatively cheap holiday about togetherness and family (Thanksgiving) in favor of the relatively expensive holiday about togetherness and family (Christmas). It didn’t and doesn’t sit well with me.

I’m faced with this dilemma: having Christmas stuff available two months before it’s needed is undeniably convenient, but I feel morally obligated to fight back against corporate greed at its most obvious. It’s the same reason why I never go to black Friday sales. I don’t feel inclined to buy a bunch of things I don’t need just because it’s cheap at events where people are not unlikely to make the news for being trampled to death inside Wal-Mart.

I have settled on this compromise: this Sunday is November 24. That is precisely 1 month before I need to have all my Christmas doodads in a row, so that is when I will begin preparing. No sooner. Even though all that glitter. I realize just one person making this decision is not going to send any kind of message to corporations. At least, not right now. While it’s only one person. But I intend to make this a permanent rule for myself. You’re welcome to do the same.

We can feel all cool and hipster-y together buying tinsel at Target on November 25.

SO EXCITED.

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One thought on “A Last-Minute Holiday Resolution

  1. My brother rants and raves about this every year. He doesn’t hate corporate greed, he just thinks it’s annoying.

    I have no problem with another month of promoting the Christmas spirit. If corporations make money by reminding people to give things to each other (albeit via buying) and be merry, then so be it.

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